Alligator Army

Now that Florida's home schedule is over, let's take time to honor an over looked member of the team.

We salute you Towel Guy. Crouched below the hoops, the game waits for no man but you. Twelve thousand souls look upon you, watching you make the floor dry. Twenty four thousand eyes admire the circular motion that makes the slickness disappear.

Sure people confuse you with the trainers who hand out towels to players. But we know who you are and we know your sacrifice.

• You pounce on a drop of spit like a sorority girl going after a plate of lettuce.
• You dive under Bruce Pearl to make sure his sweat doesn't pollute the surface.
• You have had three different MRSA infections this season.
• There are calluses on your knees from being on all fours 40 minutes a night.
• You have to fight with the male cheerleaders for space behind the baskets.

We know Towel Guy. We know. The players will leave the O'Dome with a girl under each arm and you wonder when it'll be your time to do that. But guess what? You know that girl security guard that you think is always looking at you? No. That's a UAA employee. The red head with the white shirt by gate one. Yes, I know the UAA girl is hotter, but she's out of your league. Anyway, that red head is really impressed by your commitment to a dry floor and wants to hang out this weekend.

That's right Towel Guy, you The Man now. All of those times you got other people's sweat and spit on your hands is finally paying off. Get some Purell and enjoy some time off with a lady friend. We'll see you next season Towel Guy.

This post was for our friend, Miss Lindsey, who caused the Gators to lose their last two games. She needs to be cheered up.